“Penile Scarring”?!? Ex-UFC Fighter Waylon Lowe sues Sex Shop over bad Penis Gel

Posted: May 23, 2013 in Commentary/Opinion, Latest news
Tags: ,

benstiller1Remember that time we wrote about former TUF cast member, Ray Elbe, snapping his penis in a horrific sex accident? Well, if you enjoyed that nightmare, you might want to keep reading—and then seek professional treatment because you are obviously a deviant.

It seems that former UFC lightweight Waylon Lowe is next in line to get his penis mangled, and he’s suing the shit out of a sex shop because of it. Philly.com has the full story, but here are the highlights (and by highlights, I mean lowlights).

Apparently Lowe visited a sex shop called The Mood Shop and picked up a tube of his favorite lovemaking gel. The kind that “prolongs men’s pleasure.” Not that any of our readers need prolonging gel, but whatever. On September 1, Lowe slathered some of this stuff on his junk and went at it.

At first there were no problems. But then the couple’s 3-year old daughter woke up and stopped the session short. Lowe’s fiancée got up to take care of the child. Before she returned, Lowe says he started feeling “excruciating pain and pressure in his penis.” (This is the point in the article where I’m getting uncomfortable writing it) Lowe then removed the condom to reveal what was called “significant swelling.”

He’s obviously trying to sue the hell out of the store for selling a product that … well, causes “penile scarring, loss of sensation and function; nerve and tissue damage; humiliation, embarrassment and mental anguish; lost wages and earning capacity; and loss of life’s pleasures.”

You know what? I’m usually critical of lawsuits by the over-the-top phrasing they use to make an injury seem worse than it is. But in this case, anything involving the term “penile scarring” can certainly be accompanied by the other terms being used here. Ouch!

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