Masvidal goes on a hilarious Beard-Related Tirade — I’m picking Chiesa now

Posted: July 26, 2013 in Commentary/Opinion, Latest news

chiesabeardJorge Masvidal is set to fight Michael Chiesa tomorrow and right now all he can think about is that dude’s crazy beard. Masvidal is going to file a complaint to the commission about Chiesa’s rat’s nest because he thinks he might catch herpes!

This is one of the all-time great petitions ever filed. Listening to Masvidal talk about it makes it apparent that he’s getting the heebie jeebies from the beard. Well, that plus the whole catching a disease theory he has. Here’s what he told MMAFighting.

“I hope the commission tapes it up or something — it’s too big. I don’t want that in my eyes or something. It just looks nasty, too, man, I don’t know what that beard has in it. I don’t even know if he washes that thing. I don’t know what’s going on there. I come into a fight I don’t need ring worm and mat herpes, know what I mean? [The commission] needs to do something because I know the rules are you need to be able to see the chin, so, they need to do something so that thing is not in my face. That’s all I’m saying. I’m going to [the commission] to do something — I don’t want that nastiness in my face…. That looks like a ‘somebody off the street beard’ you know? I might swallow a hair … I think that’s like fouled play. I’m definitely filing a complaint. He don’t have to cut it, but he can braid it or something, you know?”

There’s all kinds of goodness in that quote. I think he’s legitimately creeped out by the Kimbo Slice look and it could be a factor in my picks for the night. If Chiesa is allowed to wear that thing in the cage, Masvidal won’t be happy.

Here’s what I think Chiesa should do right before the fight begins. He should start stroking it and scratching it like he’s got fleas. There should be a few crumbs of food suspended inside left over from his post-weigh in meal and then start chasing Masvidal around the cage like a 3rd grade girl with “Cooties.” This might be the funniest fight in UFC history if Masvidal refuses to engage the beard.

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