Top 10 Strangest Pride FC Posters of all time

Posted: August 23, 2013 in Commentary/Opinion, Top 10

We’ve become used to UFC posters featuring face offs, cut-and-pasted mean mug shot and on the few lucky occasions the UFC graphic design department gets REALLY crazy, they might even go with a flag themed poster. That is far from accurate when we look back at the old Pride FC posters. They’ve certainly had there share of unique images on their posters. Here are a few of the most noteworthy ones.

PrideGP2006a

10. Pride GP 2006. What better way to make the point that the winner of this Open Weight tournament is THE most powerful man in the universe than to use sperm as metaphor? Well, at least I HOPE it’s a metaphor. The only other logical explanation for the sperm-themed poster is that Akiyama walked into the room while this poster was being made…and well, you know what happened next. Oopsie.

PrideGP2006

9. Pride Bushido 11. Here’s the thing about Japan…it’s fucking FREEZING there. Especially in June, for Christ sakes. This poster looks like another awesome metaphor for some post-apocalyptic scenario. But to me, it kinda looks like something we’d see advertising “Rudy.”

pride30b

8. Pride 30: Starting Over . Sorry this image is so blurry. Pride 30 had a number of posters representing the overall theme–starting over. This one is a tree trunk sprouting anew. With all the dryness and cracks, it could also represent Helio Gracie’s face.

Pride_Bushido_7

7. Pride Bushido 7. Christ, here comes that shirtless gang of street thugs acting all tough and shit.  Is it just me or does this look like an album cover for a terrible Japanese boy band?

GP2005

6. Pride Final Conflict 2005. Please put litter in its place (a single tear rolls down the cheek)

Pride10

5. Pride 10. Apparently, Jason “Mayhem” Miller is only the 2nd worst fighter to defeat Sakuraba. I guess this 110-pound ring card girl did it as well. Wait, does Saku have a boner?

Pridebushido

4. Pride Bushido.  This scene is EXACTLY what I picture heaven to be like. Colorful animals surrounded by nature on a beautiful spring day; a fresh water stream trickling peacefully in the distance; parrots, deer and armadillos all coming together to watch 2 men beat the living fuck out of each other. That’s how i picture heaven.

Pride31

3. Pride 31. Sylvester Stallone battles to save the entire human race in “Cliffhanger 2: The Awakening.” You can also expect to see Dolph Lundgren as the villain who makes Sly climb to the top of Mount Everest for the next clue, only to discover…There was no clue up there! Lundgren just wanted to see if he could make Stallone stake his shirt off and get all sweaty.

Pride30_

2. Pride 30: Starting Over. Another “starting over” reference. This one obviously depicts a young Georges St-Pierre going for some type of submission hold on an old man. certainly the old dude had it coming. He was probably sipping his 49 cent coffee, blaming all the problems of the world on young whippersnappers like baby GSP. It should be noted that the youngster relinquished that finger-lock and decided to just hold the old bastard down for 3 rounds rather than attempt another submission.

PrideGP2004a

1. Pride Final Conflict 2004. Ah yes, my favorite. A baby suckling on his mother’s breast. Startlingly, every time I think of a woman’s breast it reminds me of Fedor Emelianenko. Of course,  I’m joking. This poster obviously represents Fedor’s treatment of his previous challengers over the years. He’d pick them up, swaddle them in a blankey, change their dipey, feed them, burp them, nurture them and then beat them to within an inch of their lives.

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