Australian “Journalist” bashes Hunt vs Bigfoot; sounds like a complete tool

Posted: December 9, 2013 in Commentary/Opinion

simplejackSome guy named Buzz Rothfield (who I think I’ll call Simple Jack) from The Daily Telegraph in Brisbane, Australia might be the only person on earth who didn’t like the Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva vs. Mark Hunt fight over the weekend. He wrote what I think was an article—but was basically a bunch of really uneducated questions directed at the sport of UFC that look like nothing more than bullet points—without bullets and without much regard for unbiased journalism.

The “article” is so awkwardly written that I think I can just post the whole damn thing right here. My comments are in bold, although I’m sure my thoughts are no different than anyone else who’s reading this. Here goes…

Since when is kicking, elbowing, kneeing, punching and stomping an opponent classified as sport? Since when??? Does he think Fight Night 33 was thrown together and VOILA, a new sport was just invented overnight? If you really want to know when it started you should probably Google the 1st Olympic games, genius.

On Saturday night on Fuel TV I witnessed the brutality and bloodshed of the UFC – apparently, and worryingly, the world’s fastest growing sport. Note to Buzz Simple Jack…UFC isn’t a sport. It’s called MMA.

This was nothing but barbaric savagery that should be banned in this country. YAWN.

The fact women were allowed to fight on the card was an even bigger disgrace. If I can speak for this Mensa candidate, what he’s trying to say is that women shouldn’t be fighting in a cage; they should be in the kitchen making sandwiches.

The main event was between Aussie Mark Hunt and Brazilian Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva. Actually, Hunt’s from New Zealand, but I’ll let it slide since he lives in Australia now.

The commentators described it as one of the greatest fights in UFC history. Is this really a complete paragraph?

It made me feel sick. Hey look…this paragraph has only 5 words! Less than HALF the words in the previous one I just made fun of! Plus, this “article” is making me sick right now.

Hunt started with blond hair that finished a blood-soaked red. Both fighters became barely recognisable from the blood and facial wounds of five sadistic rounds. Hunt’s hair was no worse than any number of Ric Flair matches back in the 80’s. And really, would this guy have recogniSed Hunt or Bigfoot before the fight? Obviously not.

It scared me that the Brisbane Entertainment Centre was sold out with so many thousands of people (including families with young children) who were prepared to pay to watch it. Oh god, here comes the human cockfighting and gladiator comparisons. I also feel we’re about to see a series of ridiculous fragment sentences disguised as complete paragraphs coming.   

And all those who lapped it up and loved every cruel moment on pay-TV.

Almost defenceless men being held down on the ground and punched senseless.

What does it say about our society? Ah, the old ‘what’s wrong with our society’ bomb. That’s the world’s worst cliché reserved for people who have no real argument or desire to learn about a subject; just mindless bitching about something they have no knowledge of.

Why do we allow our kids to watch and cheer for something we teach them not to do?

And why are the competitors allowed to do all this inside a cage when it’s illegal on the streets? THIS argument? Ugh!

People have been sent to jail for less than what happened inside a cage on Saturday night. Another terrible cliché. Did this guy even try to write an article?

If you really want to make yourself sick, Google “UFC worst injuries”. The images are seriously disgusting and raise the question: why aren’t the fighters at least made to wear headgear?

Why aren’t fighters getting protection from blood diseases? They are, dumbass. Why would he assume they aren’t?

Why do the referees and doctors allow mismatches and lopsided fights to continue? They don’t, dimwit. I thought you watched the goddamn event. If you DID watch—which you are obviously lying about—you would have seen no less than 5 fights (about half) WERE stopped when they became “lopsided.”  

I know the UFC has statistics to prove there are no more serious injuries than in boxing, but that’s not the point. Wait…isn’t that exactly the point? Disregarding this—the only factual thing this guy said in the entire “article”—is like saying, “but Your Honor, I realize my DNA is everywhere, and there are several eye witnesses…but that’s beside the point because the glove doesn’t even fit.”

The beauty of all sport is the toughness and determination of its competitors. The pain they put themselves through to become the best. God this guy is a terrible writer. How does this random sentence even fit into this piece?

The injury risks they face in rugby league and all the footy codes. At least their sport involves a large degree of skill – and it’s not just a contest to ­violently bash another person into submission. I don’t know what a footy code is, but for some reason this guy thinks there’s no skill involved in MMA—errr, I mean UFC. If I started with this sentence first, I could have just written it off as some troll trying to have fun at my expense and foregone the rest of this embarrassing article.  


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