Bahadurzada deflects blame in ‘Fart Gate’ … “IT WASN’T ME!”

Posted: January 13, 2014 in Commentary/Opinion, Cool Stuff We Like, Latest news
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whofartedThe most serious and hard-hitting story coming from UFC 168—and perhaps the entire year; no, maybe even in the history of the UFC—was the mysterious fart during the Siyar Bahadurzada vs. John Howard fight. Much like when we were in 4th grade, farts are still funny as hell. And much like 4th grade, no one ever wants to take ownership of farts. Such is the case here.

Howard broke the unwritten man rule and pointed a finger at Bahadurzada. But Siyar says, whoever smelt it dealt it, bitch. He appeared on MMA Hour to set the record straight on this major news story—which surprisingly hasn’t been picked up by CNN or Fox News yet. Here’s what he told Ariel Helwani.

I didn’t hear it during the fight, but after the fight some fans were tweeting at me. They were like, ‘Man…did you fart? Or did John Howard fart?’ First of all, I kept quiet, because I thought it was John Howard. I’m not going to dismantle the guy and say he farted, because you lose your face. The entire world heard that fart. So, I didn’t say anything. And then John Howard went out and said it was me, that I was it. So then, I was like, ‘Man, you’re not sure that it was me. Why are you saying this?’ But then the UFC and BJPenn.com tweeted that it was Camera Man #4 who farted in the broadcast.

Exactly, it was very close to the camera, very close to the microphone. It couldn’t have been us.

No, no, no. It wasn’t me, or John Howard. It was Camera Man #4.

Now I feel bad for Siyar. Here we are in the midst of the biggest sports-related news story since the 1919 Chicago Black Sox World Series scandal, and Bahadurzada was prepared to bite his tongue rather than implicate his opponent. And then Howard pulls a dick move by calling out Siyar as the farter. That’s bullshit!

I just want to know how a fart can magically go from Siyar’s ass, bounce off Howard, ricochet through the cage, climb up about 6 or 7 feet into range of the microphone; which was coincidentally being held by Cameraman #4. Hmmm? That’s one magic fart.

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