Nobody steals Keith Jardine’s mail! NOBODY!!!

Posted: January 28, 2014 in Commentary/Opinion, Cool Stuff We Like
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Keith-Jardine-The Dan of Mean is back! And he’s serving his own brand of justice on mail thieves everywhere. Sounds like an amazing concept for a reality show, doesn’t it? Anyway, Keith Jardine chased down a mail burglar and threatened to whip his ass. The thief practically pissed his pants and was arrested.

Here’s the whole story. Jardine was at his Albuquerque home working on his computer—no doubt reading VigilanteMMA—when he saw a car pull up to his mailbox. The dude grabbed Keith’s mail—probably just a bunch of flyers for the local gutter cleaning company—and drove off.

That’s when Jardine kicked it into high gear. He jumped into his truck and chased the guy down. He brought him to a stop, and yanked the idiot out of his car. At first, the clown said he was just picking up mail for a friend, but when Jardine reared back like he was going to punch him, he begged for mercy. Jardine held him until the cops arrived.

This was covered by the local Albuquerque news stations, as it was the biggest news to hit that town since Heisenberg’s meth cartel was in full motion.

Now I know why Jardine hasn’t been wearing the VigilanteMMA t-shirt I sent him. Sorry for calling you an ungrateful bastard, Keith. Now I know you never received it.

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