What’s the Worst that could Happen?

Posted: March 21, 2014 in Commentary/Opinion

UFC President Dana White Press ConferenceBy Brad Walker, VigilanteMMA Senior Columnist

I’ve often thought about what could happen in the UFC that would literally be the worst case scenario for any given weight class. It’s taken some fine tuning of my classless hatred for some fighters but I think I’ve finally got it. I know what the worst thing is for each division that could possibly happen. I am only looking at things that could legitimately happen so you won’t see me listing Roy Nelson as UFC middleweight champion ….or skinny.

Heavyweight Worst Case Scenario: Jon Jones moves up and gets murdered by Cain Velasquez. Yes we all know he’s talked about making the move, but how will his legacy fare if he gets completely pummeled by the best heavyweight in the world? I don’t think Jones could beat Dos Santos or Velasquez… or Overeem … or Brock Lesnar …. You get the point. Jones has the frame of a large light heavyweight not a heavyweight. Sure he’s long and tall but size doesn’t necessarily make a heavyweight; power and speed do. Jones is fast but he’s not the most physically strong fighter out there at light heavyweight – and at heavyweight he would get killed.

Light Heavyweight Worst Case Scenario: The most boring man alive wins the belt. I truly believe Glover Teixeira will defeat Jon Jones. My fear is what comes down the line over the 18 months past that. What if Phil Davis gets his hands on the belt? Will light heavyweight be sent to Fox like lightweight did when Bendo was the champ? Boring fighters make for shitty buyrates and smaller crowds. And let’s face it; Phil Davis is the pimp master fresh of boredom in the octagon. He’s also a close second to finger banging the eyeball of opponents behind Josh Koscheck.

Middleweight Worst Case Scenario: Weidman becomes Chael Sonnen. Oh yeah, the cocky arrogant dickhead you constantly want to strangle for his blatant idiocy. Sonnen drives me nuts, and Weidman has no personality so if Sonnen gets into his head were all in for a long title reign of dipshittery and falsehoods. What could be more fun? Oh yeah, getting beaten by a midget wearing a bunny costume while he makes out with my mom.

Welterweight Worst Case Scenario: GSP returns, and still doesn’t finish fighters. Man can GSP sell some PPVs and make a whole lot of people a whole lot of money. He’s also shit stain boring to watch right in a 5 rounder. His jab is his only weapon for 90% of the fight and man does he like to lay on top of sweaty men. I respect GSP as a fighter, but that doesn’t mean I like the method he uses to win fights. Finish finish finish!

Lightweight Worst Case Scenario: Pettis loses the belt to one of the 80 über wrestlers in the division. Anthony Pettis is extremely exciting to watch fight. Ben Henderson was not. The differences between the two are few: one kills fighters and the other stretches bouts to 25 minutes to out point. Lightweight is packed with high end wrestlers right now and man do I not want to see one of them become a long reigning champion. Pettis is a lifer in UFC now so let’s avoid another boring dry humping ground champion.

Featherweight Worst Case Scenario: BJ Penn. Yeaaahhhh I said it, if Penn somehow climbs up the ranks and gets his hands on the belt, I will give up on UFC’s 145 class and go watch my homeboy Pat Curran in Bellator from now on and disavow any knowledge of a UFC featherweight title. I can’t stand BJ Penn – can’t now, couldn’t then and won’t later. Hopefully Frankie Edgar will save us from this one ever happening.

Bantamweight Worst Case Scenario: Dominick Bruise gets the belt back. Not like he had a purpose for it in the first place aside from a really expensive and fancy paperweight. I’m sure the casual fan had no idea he had won a belt in the UFC and if he wins one again, and goes back on the shelf the division is going to flounder and die …. again. Interim belts suck for the fans and the guy wearing it – so let’s not let Cruz get this strap back.

Flyweight Worst Case Scenario: The division doesn’t develop fully. Right now it’s deep with talent; the problem is a lot of that talent isn’t winning fights. Benavidez is the best of the bunch but Mighty Mouse is just too much for anyone. Pickett and Jorgensen dropping down added a kick of interest but there’s still no line of contenders right now. The division needs time to grow but the UFC has to seek fighters to fill it out.

Women’s Worst Case Scenario: Cyborg goes 1-8-7 on Rousey. I know for a fact Rousey can’t take what Cyborg is capable of throwing. I also know that on a normal day she probably outweighs Rousey by a healthy 20 pounds. I am no fan of Rouseys but I cannot stand Cyborg either, and she’s nothing but bad press. (if she’s really a she….) Rousey needs to drop the belt to Zingano or McMann and then go enjoy her newfound one-dimensional acting ability.

Thanks for reading – follow me on twitter @BradMmatorch 

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