Transcripts of Dana White & Joe Silva talking about Maldonado/Miocic

Posted: May 7, 2014 in Commentary/Opinion

maldonadoThe following conversation really took place, EXACTLY as written.

(No it didn’t)

Dana White: Fuck! That pussy Dos Santos broke his hand. What the fuck are we gonna do?

Joe Silva: I guess we could do Arlovski, Overeem, someone like…

Dana: Fucking pussy. I bet he’s faking.

Silva: I seriously doubt…

Dana: And that fucker gasses early. Everyone knows that!

Silva: Well, I don’t know about that, but what about Josh Barnett?

Dana: No way. We need someone WAY worse than Barnett. What about Sean McCorkle or Kimbo or Cro Cop?

Silva: Umm, none of those guys is even on the roster.

Dana: Don’t we have a LHW to step in?

Silva: Why would you want that???

Dana: Just fucking do it!

Silva: Shit…you mean Sonnen again don’t you?

Dana: No no no. I got it. Do we have a Brazilian LHW who isn’t very good who looks like a chubby blown up middleweight? Somebody who’s never really beaten anybody at all?

Silva: Well yes…Fabio Maldonado.

Dana: DONE! Make the announcement, but let’s go with the angle that he’s bigger and way better than he really is. The fans will eat this shit up. They aren’t very smart.

***

That’s how I imagine the conversation going when JDS pulled out of his fight with Stipe Miocic in Brazil. When they announced that unranked journeyman light heavyweight Maldonado would be sliding into the main event, I was hoping I was in the middle of a bad dream. I wasn’t.

In what will be remembered as the worst main event booking since Ilir Latifi, a crucial heavyweight battle just turned into a mockery. Fast rising Miocic stood a chance to jump into the elite with a win—or even a great showing—against the consensus #2 fighter in the world, Dos Santos. The result would likely shape the rankings and the way the division played out for the next 12-18 months. Now what?

Now this isn’t even a fight at all. What if Miocic beats UNRANKED Maldonado? Umm, nothing happens. What if a miracle occurs and Maldonado wins? Umm, nothing really. He might finally get some love and climb into the top 20 for once, but overall NOTHING happens.

Yesterday I wrote that the UFC would likely give Miocic an undeserving opponent, and I compared it to how they coddled Glover Teixeira in the weak LHW division. Never did I imagine though that they would literally give Miocic one of Glover’s old opponents. I guess I underestimated their desire to bring in a Brazilian fighter. But shit…wasn’t there ANYONE else? Maybe someone they could bring in and claim is one of the Gracie’s? Hell, the Von Erichs did it down in Texas. When one of the boys died, they just reached out to some good-looking guy from another territory and told everyone, “hey look, here’s ‘Lance Von Erich,’ one of our cousins!”

Seriously, this might be the worst headliner the UFC has ever tried to sell. If they wanted a Brazilian, why don’t they just let the winner of the TUF heavyweight final stay in the cage to fight Miocic next? Or what about Demian Maia? Or Diego Brandao? Isn’t Gisele Brazilian?

Oh by the way…if Maldonado really is 223 pounds like they’re trying to say, he must be a fat ass. This dude looks soft as hell at 205! This is going to be a nightmare. Ugh.

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